Promotion in Pandemic
the uncertainty
In stressful and tense seasons, it's hard to get our heads out of the moment and remind ourselves of the bigger picture. The World can be so toxic, misinformed, confusing, and even scary- wondering if there is any hope left within view. It's times like these where I have to discipline myself to get out of this state of fear and look back on what God has done in my life. That no matter what life throws at us, He provides everything we need and more. Let me tell you a story of God's faithfulness in my life in a time of uncertainty and fear.
the dream
Very early on, I had envisioned myself doing great things- wanting to be like the people I was looking up to for years. I was acutely aware of what interested me, and I wanted to focus on those things and do them well. I'd say around 10-years-old I knew what I wanted to do: Telling stories through animation. The world building, character design, narrative themes, color theory, all the behind-the-scenes work that lays the foundation for a good story. THAT'S what excited me. I was so sure that I even went to college for it.
In the program, I learned all the basics of good storytelling. I would see people come in who had accomplished so many great things and wonder if I would ever reach that point. It seemed so unrealistic for me, but I kept working hard. But from this college experience came the opportunity to create a product I am most known for: my first ever animated short called Overcomer. With a few months, it blew up to a million, then two million, then five million views on Youtube. I had never made something that garnered that much attention or touched so many lives. It was the first time I felt that I could do these big things I saw myself doing.
The opportunity
Before I graduated, a friend of mine proposed a passion project to collaborate on. A "reintroduction to the blending of live action and animation." We called it The Land Below. I was stilling riding off the high of completing my first ever animation, so I agreed to work with him. But little did I know that this project would require more hard work, communication, and sacrifice to finish. He was based in southern California while I still was attending college in Michigan. We worked on script writing together and establishing the foundation of the overall story, and then we were in charge of our own responsibilities. He focused on working with the actors, shooting on set, talking with people who know people, and distributing. I was in charge of character designing, concept art, storyboarding, animating, and compositing. The 5-minute, proof-of-concept we originally started out with turned into a 16-minute short film that had plenty of road bumps. We finished the project a year later, and although there were plenty of things we wished we could have fixed, we were excited to show the world. But unfortunately, it didn't go beyond a few thousand views on Youtube.
But my friends and family were excited for me, and we celebrated my accomplishment either way. With TLB behind me and graduating with Honors, I was ready to move on. But a few months go by and he reaches out to me again. There was another opportunity to expand on the TLB story. Him and a couple friends were planning on showing it to distributors in the L.A. area, hoping to get picked up. It was a wild idea! This was something I had dreamed of. Pitching a story to companies who would want to fund us? Living in the center of the film-making industry? It sounded like the logical next step!
The Voice
Then there was this voice inside me, a voice I know all too well, and He said to go somewhere else. I was confused. It didn't make sense. Why shouldn't I go and pursue this? This is what I had been working towards for years! I can't pass it up now! But no. I clearly and undeniably felt a call to attend Bible College in Tulsa, Oklahoma. So I did.
Honestly I was happy to go, although terrified of moving away from family. I got settled, but it was still rough trying to find a rhythm and to find new friends. It certainly wasn't easy, and I wondered if I did the right thing. If that wasn't hard enough, I saw my friend in California thriving. He bought an LLC, he was working with artists on re-branding TLB, and I even saw him on podcasts about his creative exploits. I was happy for him, but I couldn't help but feel that I missed my shot. I was stuck in the middle of Oklahoma, of all places. With attending school every day and working in retail as much as I can to make ends meet, I had to put my artistic passions on the back burner.
The connection
Then one day I was at work, and a coworker came up to me and asked, "So you draw and animate, right?" I told her I did. She had seen my work on social media. She then proceeded to tell me she is friends with a producer of a production studio in town. I was shocked. She told me they had done animated shorts and VR projects over the years and said she would put in a good word for me if I was interested.
OF COURSE I WAS.
I got in contact with the studio and they gave me an opportunity to create some concept art for an internal project they had. It was an opportunity to prove I could create what they needed, so I wasn't getting paid at the time. But I wanted so badly for this to work out, so I went all in. Our emails back and forth grew more scarce as the weeks went on, until the project was dropped and we didn't really communicate after that. After a few months, I just gave up hope I had any chance with them. I just wasn't what they needed.
The ditch
As the months went on, I found myself really enjoying my life I had created. I made amazing friends, I was investing in a great ministry, and I just felt at peace. But when graduation day came, I still had no artistic direction. I felt lead to stay in Tulsa and invest in youth ministry, so I did. Most of my friends attended another year at the college while I worked retail. Nothing was really going on in my life except for work and church, and I just felt stuck. When my friends eventually moved away after graduating their 3rd year, I really felt lost. Why was I still in Tulsa? What else is there for me here? Was this my life now?
I had worked at the same retail company for over 5 years. It was such a big deal that the district manager came to our store and gifted me and others who reached this milestone a certificate, a pin, and a giftcard. All the while I was wondering... "Am I gonna spend 5 more years here? Working every weekend, sacrificing time with my family, living paycheck-to-paycheck, how much longer am I going to live like this?"
It's the beginning of March, and Covid was starting to spread in the U.S.. Private businesses were shutting down and mandates were being made statewide. I was wondering when we would be next- when we would be getting furloughed. With the amount of money I was making, and adding up all of my living expenses, the thought of moving back to Michigan with my family seemed like the only logical option if I were to lose my job. The interesting thing was that I had this overwhelming peace through it all. I wasn't worried about the future, which is crazy to say because I normally would. So I just rested in that peace and relied on God to take care of what I needed. God called me to stay in Tulsa, and if He wanted me here, He would find a way to keep me here, even if it took a miracle.
So a miracle came.
The miracle
On March 10th, I got an email. This email came from one of the producers at the same studio I contacted the year prior. He said there was a potential project that I could help with, and asked to have a meeting to discuss. Now, from my previous communication with them, I assumed it would be another project that would fall through just like the ones I worked on before. I came into the meeting not expecting much at all. So I walk into the studio for the second time and sat down with the 2 producers. The project, they told me, was an animated music video. And I assumed it would be for this unknown, up-and-coming Christian artist. But no. It was a music video for David Crowder.
David. Freaking. Crowder.
I internally was freaking out while on the outside I just murmur, "Wow." This was WAY more high-profile than I thought. They gave me all the details of what the song is, what the music video was going to be, what the timeline was, told me I would be the only 2D animator on the project, and they offered me a full-time position on the spot. I was speechless. I think I choked out some form of "Yes" as I was rapidly processing these current events. We wrapped up the meeting, and one of them joked, "Crazy how most of the world is losing their jobs and you just got hired to your dream one in the middle of a global pandemic."
The drive home was less than silent, filling the inside of my tiny Buick with squealing screams. This was it. This is why I stayed!
The work
Now it wasn't an easy transition. The mandatory "Stay At Home" order was put into effect my first week on the job. So I worked from home for the first couple months while we were starting production. And as the days went on, I felt so unqualified. Most of the things I was tasked to do, I had never done before. I worked with 3D environments and assets, animated fight scenes, and did a whole bunch of creative problem solving with the only other person on this project with me at the time. It was hard, it was intense, but I reminded myself that this is why I'm here. This is why I was lead to stay. The events that lead up to me getting this job was not coincidental. So I kept working hard.
And even with the power surges, my fried computer, the lost and corrupted files, the busted AC, and the loss of wifi for 2 weeks at the end of production, we did it. We delivered the final file to Crowder's management, and they loved it. About a month later, we decided to shoot some bts footage of us editing some of the project files. There were lights and c-stands all over my office, and all of my coworkers were making this look like a multi-million dollar teaser for the music video.
The reality
It didn't hit me until then- when I opened some of the first rounds of concept art from back in March. Seeing I had come so far, working with an amazing team of talented people, having my face and work being showcased in front of millions of people. It was the first time I really acknowledged the weight of my reality, and I let myself celebrate. I couldn't help but tear up when I saw the footage of me in my office. I saw myself, with my character designs pinned all over the walls, my concept art on the screen, my rough animation files opened, knowing I did what I loved and succeeded at it.
The person I always dreamed of being is who I have become.
With all the trials and doubts and unknowns, I listened to God. Even when nothing seemed to make sense on the outside, I chose to trust Him. Everything He put in my path from freelancing, to creating Overcomer, to experiencing the production of The Land Below, to moving to Tulsa, and even working that retail job, nothing was wasted. It all lead up to this moment. God knew exactly what needed to happen in my life in order for me to be here. And it's just the beginning!
The Truth
If any of you are worried about the future, what might become of your family and livelihood, God sees you. He knows exactly what you need and exactly when you need it. Even if the world is falling apart around you (In my case, a pandemic), God is still bigger than your circumstances. For the entire duration of production, I leaned on the faith-filled words of David as he prepares to go up against Goliath:
"And everyone assembled here will know that the LORD rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the LORD’s battle, and he will give you to us!" - 1 Sam 17:47
"This is the Lord's battle..." and He has never lost before. We are citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven, equipped with power by the name of Jesus. We have the victory. So don't fear, have faith, and pray out the promises. We have already won.
